Contrasts:Bravery And Cowardice
by Still Seeing Leaves
Summary: There was a reason it was so hard for him to stick up for others. Read A/N before proceeding for warnings. Part of the Contrasts Series. One-shot.


**Summary:** There was a reason it was so hard for him to stick up for others. One-shot. Part of the Contrasts Series.

**Spoilers: **None

**Characters:**Finn Hudson

**Pairings: **None.

**Notes: **Anyone who's read my usual stuff will probably have fallen out of their chair by now. Mainly because I stopped liking Finn after the second part of Season 1 started, and started disliking him a lot in Season 2. That said, this isn't Finn bashing till near the very end. It's me thinking up explanations for why this character is the way I perceive him to be.

So yeah, comments, reviews, criticism is welcome. Flames are also welcome, as long as you don't do it anon. You're more than welcome to tell me I'm an idiot, but give me a way to reply:)

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><p><strong>Lima, Ohio. Summer 2008 - Bravery<strong>

Finn waved to Puck over is shoulder and started walking home at a brisk pace, his sports kit slung across one shoulder. The summer holidays had just begun, which meant that a lot of his days would pass just as this one had; football, and more football. And that, quite obviously, was a very good thing.

Not that he didn't like school or anything; he'd met most of his friends there and the teachers were really sweet to him. But even then, football was way better. And it also helped distract him from the fact that when the holidays ended, he wouldn't be going back to his regular school, the one he'd gotten so used to over the last seven years. No, it was time for middle school now, and he really didn't want to think about that.

He'd been enrolled in William McKinley High School, and the thought of passing out of primary school as the eldest and entering that place as the youngest was a pretty daunting task. He'd gotten used to being part of the highest grade and watching the younger kids look at them with a mixture of envy and respect. And now... now he'd be back to square one.

Plus Puck, resourceful as ever, had found out a lot about this new school, and most of it wasn't nice, to put it mildly. Apparently, it was some sort of tradition to throw ice cold, fresh slushies on the heads of students who the popular kids disliked for whatever reasons. And the teachers weren't really the nicest bunch either. Most of them were teaching there using forged diplomas because they weren't intelligent enough to do anything else, and they seemed to have selective hearing, memory and eyesight when it came to all those 'traditions'.

So yeah, not the most promising picture. But he was confident that he'd do okay over there. He'd always managed to get along well with people, and being good at sports would make up for any other faults they'd find. Hopefully.

Trying to push all of those thoughts out of his mind, he walked faster, focusing instead on the setting sun, which bathed the road ahead of him in a delicious, warm light.

He was just a turn or two away from his house when he came across a sight that stopped him dead in his tracks. John Moore, one of his neighbors and a resident bully, had another kid hoisted up against the wall by the scruff of his neck and was saying something to him that made the kid look like he was going to pee in his pants.

Finn could have walked away, he really could have. John was notorious for picking on smaller kids for money, and there wasn't ever use saying anything to his parents because they never believed a word anyone said against him. And he was probably a head taller than Finn at that time, built stronger too. So no one could have blamed Finn for walking away with his eyes fixed firmly on the pavement.

Well, no one but Finn himself. See, he was just like all other kids in that he had no clue what he was going to do with his life, what he wanted to become and so and and so forth. But one thing he did know was that his idol, the man he looked up to and wished to emulate in every way was his father. He didn't know much about the man; only what he'd gathered from watching an old video a hundred times and the few stories his mom had told him when he'd pestered her to. It was hard to try to be like a person you knew so little about.

What Finn did know, however, was the fact that his Dad was a hero, for the best reason possible. He was an officer of the Army who willingly spent every day of his life facing machine guns and grenades and a whole host of other things that were so much more powerful than the armor protecting his body. He went out and risked his life for people he didn't even know every damn day and came back satisfied. Till the day he didn't.

Till the day that one bullet got a little too close, went in a little too deep. Till that one day, he'd stood with his head held high and fought. And Finn knew that he'd regret it forever if he didn't do the same.

Walking up to John, he used all the strength he had to yank the taller boy's hand off that kid's neck, almost falling backwards himself in the process. The boy John had been holding up fell to the ground, and after shooting Finn a quick look of gratitude, scampered up and ran away as fast as he possibly could.

"What the.. Have you lost your fucking mind, Hudson?" asked John, advancing towards Finn after he saw that his original target wasn't foolish enough to wait around.

"He must have been, what, ten years old? Coward. Why don't you pick on someone who can fight back?" said Finn, not budging an inch. Bullies were just the biggest cowards in the world, his mom had said. They only came after you till they thought you were afraid, so Finn would make sure that this guy didn't see any trace of fear on his face.

"Like you? You little dimwit."

"Listen, I'll-" Finn's words were cut off by a punch to his jaw, and then another just for good measure. He got no time at all to react as John relentlessly rained down the punches, getting angrier and angrier every time he struck.

"Fucktard. I'm. Stronger. Than. You," he said, each word punctuated with a solid blow, till finally Finn's knees finally gave way and he doubled over on the pavement, trying so very hard to make John stop.

But it wasn't working, and with each kick, each insult, there was greater pain. There was something wet and warm spreading over his chest, and he knew that one of those kicks had broken his skin. That was his own blood he was feeling on the hands protecting his stomach, and the realization made his so, so afraid. At that moment, he could think of nothing at all but the pain that was throbbing through every part of his body, getting worse and worse till finally he blacked out, the sweet relief of unconsciousness taking over him.

The next thing he remembered was waking up in a hideously white room, with no idea of how he got there. He could hear his mom's voice somewhere, mumbling garbled sentences that were making his head hurt. There were sounds, and bright dots shining in front of him as his eyes tried to focus, to make out where he was.

And that was when the pain kicked in. Shit, it hurt. A dull, numbing ache spreading through him, making him wish that these stupid people would quit disturbing him and let him fall asleep again, so he couldn't feel it. But they just kept poking and prodding till he was awake, asking him if he felt any better. Morons.

It got better, though, with stronger doses of painkillers. The pain, that is. The anger, not so much. He couldn't walk, could barely move, and that was how his summer holidays would pass. Not to mention the fact that he knew his mother did not have enough money to pay for whatever services he was getting. He couldn't even imagine how stressed she'd be feeling right now, even though she never really said anything to him about it.

Well, except that one time just after he'd really woken up properly. "Why did you have to do that?" she had said. "You should just have ignored them and come home, Finn. Look at what he did to you, that horrible boy."

He'd heard the grief, the helplessness and frustration in her tone and it made him wonder - why had he done that? What had being brave and noble and heroic really ever gotten for a person?

His dad had been so very brave, and all they had to show for it was a broken family, a box of medals that made his mother cry every time she looked at them and a few fading photographs to cling to. What was the point? Risking your neck for others and getting pain in return. It was, after all, what had happened to him as well.

Bravery, Finn decided, was a great concept as long as you didn't try to execute it.

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><p><strong>McKinley High, Lima, Ohio. Start of term, 2011 - Cowardice.<strong>

Kurt had, yet again, gotten a slushie facial. It had happened two days ago, and Finn had seen the entire thing out of the corner of his eye, remaining glued to his locker. They were in Glee Club together, their parents were considering marriage, and all of those things led people to the logical conclusion that he should have helped Kurt. But he couldn't.

It didn't feel good, seeing all of those people that he'd come to know and like being ragged day in and day out, but what choice did he have? Sure, he was stronger now, and he could easily have kicked the crap out of half his teammates. But now it wasn't just them he was up against. After losing Regionals last time, most of them were having a tough time. He'd been saved because of his performance on the field, and he could not let go of that protection.

So today, he moved around the school carefully avoiding the corridors in which he knew some of the jocks were planning to have a little fun with Rachel. It was difficult, but he managed, and soon the final bell rung and he dropped off his books, making his way towards the choir room. He knew that Rachel would be there, probably sneezing a little, and he took along one of his extra jackets for the girl. It's not like he was completely heartless or anything.

But the smell that greeted him on entering the room made him recoil instantly, flapping his huge hands in front of his face to clear the air. He entered again, and was once again bombarded with the stench of rotten eggs and sounds of hushed murmurs. The entire Glee Club was huddled around Rachel, and as he got closer, he realized that she was the one emitting that smell. Fighting his natural instinct to get the hell away from her, he covered his nose with his sleeve and moved forward, grabbing a chair and sitting down.

Turned out that the jock's idea of fun had been to douse Rachel with a mixture of Coach Sylvester's drink and eggs that had been left to sit for a week. The mere thought was making him squeamish, and he could barely concentrate on the conversation around him.

"I know I'm going to have nightmares about it. My sixth sense can already feel the souls of the dead chicks hovering around me."

"Right, that's it," said Puck, getting up and kicking his chair back. "Those guys have gone way too far. Guys, come with me. Time to kick some ass... Um, yeah, you too," he quickly amended after seeing the way Santana was glaring at him.

Whoa. This was not good. Finn knew that while what had happened to Rachel was wrong, really, really wrong, but trying to intimidate the football team, and in turn the entire student body was also really, really bad. And stupid. And Finn Hudson was not stupid... Erm, well, not that stupid.

"Guys, wait," he said, getting up. "Hold on a sec. Going and picking a fight with them won't solve anything. It'll just get worse."

"Then what d'you suggest we do? Just let them get away with turning Rachel into a skunk?"

"No, but... There's just a few of us, and we can't really make them afraid of us or anything. They laugh ever-"

"Listen, Finvertebrate, you can cut out your 'us' shit. Just say that you're too much of a pussy to go out there. We get it."

"I'm just saying-"

"That you have no balls? We already knew that. So stop blocking the entire damn wall with your horribly deformed figure and let us go."

"Santana, shut up! We'll just be ostriched."

"Ostracized," corrected Santana automatically.

"Whatever," said Finn, before Santana shocked the life out of him by making a beeline for him. She didn't really get there, because Puck was way too used to her antics and held her back along with Sam's help, but God was she trying.

As Sam worked on restraining Santana, he looked at Finn with pure disgust in his eyes, wondering how one person could have two such radically different sides to him.

His first impression of Finn had been phenomenally good. He was the most popular dude in school, but was trying to help improve Glee Club even though the whole school thought it was the crappiest thing on earth. And not to mention helping Artie get onto the football team, even though it had initially cost him his own spot. So yeah, Finn was nice.

But then all the things with Quinn had happened, and he was forced to re-evaluate. Maybe it was his personal opinion, since the guy was stealing his girlfriend, but Finn was being such a hypocrite about the whole thing. On one hand, he was treating Rachel as if she'd committed a cardinal sin by kissing another boy while they were fighting because Finn had lied to her, and on the other, he was extolling the benefits of cheating to Quinn without once thinking of how damaging it could be to both her and Sam. Anything went as long as he had the hottest chick in school back as his arm candy.

Not to mention that God awful, downright ridiculous speech he had delivered to the Unholy Trinity in order to make them leave Coach Sylvester. Good speech and all, but... hypocrite. Wasn't he the one who'd chosen football over Glee when the old Coach was being an ass? And wasn't he the one who was missing when all of them collectively went to defend Kurt. Sort of like he was going to be missing now.

"Let me at him. Leave me," said Santana, biting down on whatever part of whoever's body she could reach in order to break free. "Let. Me. At. Him."

"Santana, please stop. While I am deeply touched at your defensiveness and concern for me, you should stop before you end up doing something that you'll regret. And you're frightening Brittany." That got a pretty quick response as Santana immediately stopped struggling and backed off, choosing to display her displeasure via death glares only.

"And Finn... While your stance on this matter was disappointing on a personal level, I do agree with you," she said, turning to face the rest of Glee. "As I said, I'm touched and moved by the fact that you would stake your own popularity, well-being and mental health to defend my honor. However, I feel that it's my duty to inform you of the fact that it will, indeed, be useless. On a purely physical level, there are a lot more of them that there are you, which is why threatening them isn't of much use."

"Berry, you don't have to worry about us. What they did to you wasn't cool, okay? And if we don't do something, they'll just get worse. You know, they used to go easy on you 'cause you were a girl. Now, it's like they don't give a shit. Next thing you know, they'll be throwing Artie out of his wheelchair."

"I realize that, Noah, which is why I've already informed my fathers of today's incident. They were suitably upset and are taking the next flight back to Lima to report the incident to the Board of Education rather than waste time trying to appeal to the teachers of our school. It will be taken care of. Properly."

"But-"

"Noah, remember that these are the people you will be playing football with for a few years to come. You cannot afford to be so hostile towards them. And anyway, we need to focus our energy on Nationals. Channelize this anger via your music and please, for Gods sake, don't get yourself suspended. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to visit Ms. Pillsbury for some more of her disinfecting products."

Puck waited for her to disappear around the bend before turning on Finn.

"And I though I was the Lima Loser. You're fucking pathetic, man."

"Yeah, says the guy who got his best friend's girl drunk and then knocked her up."

"At least I had the guts to own up to it. I gave her money for that kid, get it. Your saintly girlfriend was the one who wanted to call you the father, not me... All you ever do is sneak around, dude. You were fooling around with Berry when you were with Quinn, then with Quinn when she's with someone else. You're worse than me. Not that I don't hook up with unavailable chicks or anything, but I try to get the single ones as well."

"I wasn't fool-"

"Dude, you and Sam are the only ones stupid enough to believe than 'saving his life' shit. Fact is, you're just a goddamn coward. And you can't even admit it."

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><p>Reviews are food and water.<p> 


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